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After a lifetime of ingesting maladaptive coping strategies, is it possible to get back on track? For many men, the first instinct in a break up is self destruction — to pirouette back into the past, filling free time with unhealthy habits and cheap alcohol to numb the pain. Alcohol is a depressant.
Exercise, however, is the opposite — it increases blood flow to the brain, releases endorphins, and boosts production of serotonin, which is largely responsible for our day to day happiness. Instead, swallow all that silly masculine fear of appearing weak, and open up.
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Your old support system was one person which, while a lovely enough notion, is impractical for functioning healthily - imagine trying to build a cathedral using only one pillar. Instead of thinking about what you really, truly want in a relationship, you jump in blindly. Think about your past relationships. Fast-forward to your breakup.
Stay true to them and find a partner who shares your values. You have to find your own balance between honesty, compassion, and staying true to your values.
How Men Deal with Breakups, and Why They Get It Wrong
Yes, people might feel hurt by your honesty. After my latest breakup, I realized I needed to work on some things. I reflected on my fear of commitment. I got clear on my core values. I worked on my ability to communicate my feelings around tough subjects like sex, money, and having children. I read new books, worked with a coach, and traveled by myself.
I met new people and shared life experiences with them in a vulnerable way. What can I do to make myself better? But true growth can only happen when we look inside ourselves. Are you kidding me? When is the last time something that made your life better came to you while you were sitting around doing nothing?
Rebound (dating) - Wikipedia
When we put ourselves out there, get out of our comfort zones, and face our fears, amazing things start to happen. Go to social gatherings with new people.
Find common interest groups in your community. Talk to a stranger on the bus or metro. Hell, give online dating a try! If you want to find love, you have to get out there and meet new people. True love is a beautiful thing. True love is something that everyone should strive for because life is a lot more fun when we can share it with a person who brings out the light inside of us. He lives in Montreal, Canada. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.