How to write dating site messages

These all make a terrible first impression. In fact, if you count hit and we do! This makes a certain sense: You might think that words like gorgeous , beautiful , and sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:.

7 types of online dating messages that get responses

The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out.

3 ways to keep the online dating conversation going

We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

1. Make a Joke That’s Specific to the Person

It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.

Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her. Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.

The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:. Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm.


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  • First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs;

On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use. NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic.

How to Write Your First Online Dating Message

Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well.


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And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what?