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Thank you to all who have read this post. Please continue to share your comments, thoughts and feelings. In the months and years following a long therapy, my psychiatrist and I very gradually became friends in spite of ourselves.
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We had too much in common not to, looking back I think it was inevitable, although I think we both did our best to maintain a certain distance for a long time. Our friendship was very discreet, mostly we met for a coffee every so often in his study or sent a note or talked on the phone occasionally.
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He was without a doubt a very dear father figure to me. And then I helplessly watched him slowly sink into dementia at an early age. When he knew that he could no longer practice he opened up even more to me. The more I knew him the more I cared for him. I chose to stand by him when he finally had to go into a nursing home.
Except for a rare visit from time to time, once he had progressed to the last stages of dementia, there was no one to watch out for him but myself. I will not go into details, but I was accused of the worst possible intentions. They created a situation where we became one of the main subjects of gossip of the entire staff of the home.
It did not help us that he consistently showed his love and very strong preference for me even in the very last extreme stages of the disease.
Relationships after Therapy: Why They are Always Bad « Shrink Talk
It was used as proof of how unhealthy my intentions were. The nurse in charge of his dossier defended us as much as she could. A few members of the staff did let me know how wonderful they thought my commitment and how special our contact was. An old friend who knew us both very well for over 20 years also stood by me. Otherwise I was very much alone. After the first 18 months the head nurse even found a way to prohibit our right to have a meal together he was the only resident in the house not to have the right to eat with a visitor.
He was almost always famished, and it eventually became imperative to visit daily as much as possible certain nurses and nurses aids encouraged me greatly in this. I have absolutely no regrets of giving him so much of my time in the last years of his life. It has however taken me a long time after his death to come to terms with the treatment we both received from others in the medical profession.
It was mental torture.
Can Psychologists Date Patients or Former Patients?
It was the most dangerous and devastating experience I have had, even worse than the trauma that got me to counselling in the first place. There were very complicated contextual and social constraints as well, other than the controversy of being client and therapist , between friends and family surrounding our relationship which made us have to keep the whole thing invisibly secret, and that made it even weirder.
I only just survived and the worst thing is I have come out so wrecked after having completed such great work with him, and worst of all lost my counsellor. I am still very much in recovery from this experience and have no one I can talk to. I have been alone in dealing with this, and I need some help from someone who understands the extreme vulnerability of a client after finishing therapy, let alone other social factors; I need someone who understands what this experience is like as a woman, and how devastating it is.
I have just now in the last week confirmed that my ex has been having a relationship with our former therapist. And, it has nothing to do with our divorce. Who would want to go to a therapist who totally disrespects the law??? I was talking to a therapist, and found myself feeling deeply in love with her. I knew it was transference and I brought it up, though it felt really awkward.
Psychologist says love affair with former patient 'destroyed' his life
I fired her after a couple of months. John, a good therapist would talk you trough your feelings. And if the therapist is good, you can look at your pattern of attachment, mentioning that you feel the same old feelings coming up and then figure out a healthy way to deal with this. I cared for a man, the same age as me. He was on my level and eventually was released back into the normal world and lived a normal life. We were close and he phoned me last year.
I had left my job as a therapist and now work in a completely different career. We began dating and our time working together has been completely forgotten, we just see each other as two people who met and developed feelings, away from a work environment.
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I understand the safety measures set up for the protection of patients and therapists alike. Completing the therapy feels great! It amplifies the feeling of loss even more. Do therapists warn patients about what can happen after termination? Transference may occur and the only option you have is talking to another therapist. And then another one about the issues that arose with the second therapist, etc. The restraint makes you want to break from it even more. You will always want to press the button you were no allowed to press. I think it would resolve a lot of pain out there if we all just took the Victorian sticks out of our butts.
I know the termination can be painful for the therapists as well. We are just human but the rules and regulations are not very human and we have to come up with better solutions.
I think our grandchildren will look back at it the same way we look back at electric shock therapy and ice baths. Hi, I need some advice. I only had two sessions with my therapist. I actually was very attracted to him prior to making an appointment with him. He walked in as part of orientation. He made a little speech and I was completely taken with him.
I was immediately attracted. I terminated my therapy after the brief sessions because of scheduling conflicts. I respect his integrity. I just really like him as a person. I would love to have a friendship with him and if it lead to a romantic one that would be awesome.
In generally, I think this person is worth knowing and would love to have a friendship. He expressed that he would miss me as well and was disappointed but had strong integrity. I feel the two year rule in this instance is a bit black and white. The rule needs to be black and white because there are too many people who would exploit the gray.
And you may like him as a person, but such feelings are predicated on incredibly limited knowledge of who he actually is. There are no forms to sign that can ensure safety of his license. If he breaks the rule, he will lose his ability to work. After my divorce with nowhere to go, my therapist asked me to live with her in exchange for housework. This was while I was her client.